Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
