I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
