It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think I sprained my soul last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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