Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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