dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
