first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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