The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
