I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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