The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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