He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
