I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
