as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
