It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Walk of Shame today included voting.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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