you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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