afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
