what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
