I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
