LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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