I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
