My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
