sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm always down for nudity.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
