Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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