Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
