He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
