so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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