Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
