We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
