Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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