dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
