i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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