I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
