I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
