yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
