Don't make out with my wife yet
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
