Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
