cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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