I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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