the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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