Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
