so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
