i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize