THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
