And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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