Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Panties = found
Randomize
