After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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