I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
