I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
