i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
