All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
