like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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