Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
