Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
