she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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