She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
