i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
