What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
how does that bad decision feel?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
