Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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