i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
