I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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