if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
