I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im six kinds of drunk right now
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
