I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
