I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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