I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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