dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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