Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
