Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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