brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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