It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
