this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
