his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
