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69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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