Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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