I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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