and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
