How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
