My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
