so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
